Random Riffage: Glorior Belli – The Great Southern Darkness

Glorior Belli are a Parisian southern doom metal band. That may sound weird, until you realize a large majority of the south is french speaking or has french influence in their culture. Either way, these guys play some absolutely soul crushing tunes that Satan himself would enjoy.

While their music is a bit of a departure from this blog, the song I’m drawing attention too is well deserving off it. The title track from Glorior Belli’s newest album, “The Great Southern Darkness”, is a grimy, doom filled spine chiller of a song. A classic riff backs a mellow opening section in which we learn the joys of glorifying Satan, then the hammer drops and all hell breaks loose.

It’s this combination of a clean build and interlude combined with an ear melting drop that makes shivers go down my spine every time it gets played. Give it a listen and let me know what you think.


Yes this isn’t music: Iron Sky trailer was released

Yes I am well aware this isn’t music and I don’t much give a shit.

So for the past couple years I’ve been following the production of a independent German film known as Iron Sky.

So basically in 1945 the Nazi’s fled to the moon. Then in 2018 they’re invading the earth in spaceships. If you weren’t interested after reading that, you probably never will be.

It’s out April 4th in Europe and damn well better make it Canada.

Just watch the trailer already

Ride these riffs to your Ruin

I’m half awake, the suns shining and it’s time for some riffage.

Ride to Ruin are a group of guitar shredding hooligans from Columbus Ohio. They play exactly the kind of riffage we like here at the Church, face-melting, fuzzed out and loud as fuck. Filled with just as many grimy punk vibes as classic stoner fuzz, Ride to Ruin are yet another great example of simple, yet solid head banging.

Gritty vocals and a crunchy guitar tone keep things moving at a viscous pace through the 5 track album. While they don’t bring anything new to the formula, their riffs are tight and the tone is greasy, exactly what you need to get things moving on a Wednesday.

Ride to Ruin Facebook

Ride to Ruin Bandcamp

You Handsome Devil will take you straight to hell

So I’m walking to class today and there’s these two little kids walking in front of me. For whatever reason, one of the kids turns and makes eye contact with me. I pull out a headphone.

“Hey, are you listening to dubstep?”

“Don’t listen to dubstep kids, it’s bad for you.” And proceed on my way.

Where was all that going? Nowhere really.

So, You Handsome Devil most definitely don’t play dubstep. They play a razor edged combination of metal, punk and groove ‘n’ roll. A rather infectious combination I might add. Calling Toronto home (or the 41-666, as it may be), You Handsome Devil do their level best to violate your earholes while simultaneously making you break out into uncontrollable head banging.

The riffs are nice and meaty, the drums have a deep, satanic boom. If you were to imagine what Elvis Presley would have played if he were the antichrist, you’d be getting pretty close. Going so far as to incorporate elements of sludge and even doom metal, You Handsome Devil cover the gamut of awesome riffage and then some. I really can’t pick a favorite song, each one is rad in it’s own right. It’s music like this that makes getting up in the morning worthwhile.

I’d also like to comment on the excellent use of samples, with the album opening with a quote from the infamous GG Allin:

“Well first of all, for me, rock and roll to me has always been about real rebellion and non-conformity. And my mission has been to put danger back into rock and roll, something that’s been missing for a real long time. And I use my rock and roll as a weapon against society the government and the industry itself who’s trying to confine this type of music and they’re trying to preach to you. Rock and roll is not about what you look like, who you hang out with, how much money you make, what kind of car you drive. Rock and roll is the fury from within you. Rock and roll is revenge. Rock and roll is your enemy, and I am your enemy.” – GG Allin

Their self titled album was released in July of last year and is available on Bandcamp for a name your price option. Download it and put it to 11, cause that’s the only way to properly enjoy shred this good.

You Handsome Devil Bandcamp

You Handsome Devil Facebook

Random Riffage: Focus – Hocus Pocus

Alright. I know Focus can be considered classic rock, but I don’t really much care because this song is epic.

So the first time I heard this tune I was driving a tractor. No seriously, I was out raking hay and listening to the local rock station. It was a lunchtime request section and another farmer, who was also driving his tractor, called in and requested this. At first I had no idea what to expect but than the first riff dropped and it all made sense.

Focus are a moderately successful prog rock band from the Netherlands. Formed in the ’70’s by classically trained flutist Thijs van Leer, they brought a good deal of classical influence along with some odd instrument choices and yodeling.

The thing that sets Hocus Pocus apart is that no other song they recorded sounds remotely similar to the musical insanity you get from Hocus Pocus. First that catchy riff hits and gives you an idea of things to come, then it starts to pick up and you start thinking, “Hey this is pretty average”, and then the yodeling starts. It’s all downhill from there. Drum, flute, guitar, bass, organ, yodel solos all glued together by that one infectious riff.

One of my favorite songs of all time and one of the most awesome songs of all time. Give’r a listen.

The Fucking Wrath

Instead of going grocery shopping I’m going to write about this. Which means another high class dinner of pancakes and beef jerky, my internal organs love me.

The Fucking Wrath are one of my favorite riff metalers of all time and one of the driving reasons I started this blog. They play exactly what their name implies, balls to the wall, crushing, pounding, head banging, whiskey and smoke scarred, southern fried riffs. Seamlessly blending hard charging thrash elements into downright bone grinding sludge sections. You’ll get picked right up in a maelstrom of frenetic riffage only to get crushed under a deliciously devastating sludge onslaught.

It’s the awesome blend of punk speed, thrash brutality, classic riffage and stoner vibes that keeps me coming back for more. It’s not pretty music and it sure as hell isn’t classy. It’s zero fucks given riffage. So just go listen already!

The Fucking Wrath currently have 3 full length albums, their most recent album, “Valley of the Serpents Soul” is available on iTunes and from Tee Pee Records. I’ve got the usual links as well as a stream for “Swan Song of a Mad Man” and “Hell Flies Tonight”.

The Fucking Wrath Facebook

The Fucking Wrath

Carnaval: Tennis Football Basketball … and riffs

Holy hell, I really need to stop getting woken up by the sun and the kids across the road screaming on their lunch break. Anyway. Time for some music.

Carnaval are from Ljubljana, Slovenia, yes that is a place but I totally had to google it to make sure. Carnaval play a very riff centered form of alt rock. A nice meaty guitar tone and solid drums get combined with some almost indie rock esque vocals. There is also a whole lot of muscianship on display, as shown from the about 3 minute jam that makes up the end of the title track, “Tennis Football Basketball”.

They have a lot of creative riffs and song structures spread over the entire album. “Kick Ass” has a staccato rhythm and softer vocals, while “Sugar and Sweets” dives in with a heavier guitar and thicker baseline. Favorite song is either the title track or “El Caracazo”, which drops in with some chunky stoner riffing, then mixes in a cowball and keeps the jam going.

I recommend giving the whole album a run through, it’s definitely a pleasant experience. Only thing I can say is it would be rad if they sang in their native language, I’m not really a huge fan of foreign bands that sign in English, whatever the reasoning may be. Thoughts?

They have released 3 full albums, with only two on their Bandcamp. I think their unsigned, but I’m really not sure since I can’t read their Facebook or website. Either way, get listening.

Carnaval Facebook

Carnaval Bandcamp

Dead Guys: because drummers are for sissies

Trawling Bandcamp for new jams has led to many a hidden gem, the Dead Guys are definitely one of those gems.

This trio from Duluth, Minnesota, play a blues/rock hybrid akin to early White Stripes or a more badass Black Keys. I say badass for a couple of reason. Firstly, they don’t have a drummer. Guitarist Jake Scott stamps on a ratty old kick drum with a tambourine atop it. The second reason is they use a banjo, anything with a banjo gets way more badass points in my eyes.

Keeping pace with the single kick drum adds a certain organic nature to their sound, it sounds raw and much more intimate than if they would have played the songs with a full kit. The songs have a slow, meandering pace that’s backed by some very tasty riffage and a solid baseline. It’s a very relaxing and comfortable sound that could easily be played over and over again.

Now the bad thing about the Dead Guys is they only have two songs as of now but the good thing is they’re FREE. So give these a listen and a download and give them some love on Facebook too.

Dead Guys Facebook

Dead Guys Bandcamp


Use The Fuzz: Split EP – Parasol Caravan // Cachimbo de Paz

Thanks to Islander over at NO CLEAN SINGING I got informed of this upcoming split between two Austrian bands, Parasol Caravan and Cachimbo de Paz. Slated for release on the 16th of this month, Use The Fuzz is a solid 8 track homage to stoner classics, big riffs and the ever glorious fuzz.

Parasol Caravan play a very straightforward, but very tasty, style of riff rock. Big, memorable riffs, heavy drums and all topped off with some whiskey soaked vocals. They pick you up right away with the opening build of “The Barbers Snake” and keep the fat grooves going until the closing drone of “Chinese Eyes”. The vocals are more of a soulful yell then a drunken growl but it works well with the modern rock themes that they work into their songs. Definitely worth a listen.

Cachimbo de Paz claim the last four songs on the EP. They play on the opposite side of the stoner spectrum, with heavily fuzzed and distorted guitars combined with thick, gritty vocals that border on sludge territory, it’s a nice contrast to the cleaner sound that Parasol Caravan brought to the table. Instead of keeping the heavy guitars as the focus and just beating your head in with them, Cachimbo work in some softer, almost psychedelically styled licks and interludes.

This EP is a great combination of two up and coming bands, playing two different but complementary styles of riffage. I’ve got links to both bands respective Facebooks/Bandcamps/Soundclouds and I’ll update with a link to buy the EP once it’s released.

Parasol Caravan Facebook

Parasol Caravan Bandcamp

Cachimbo de Paz Facebook

Cachimbo de Paz Soundcloud

METAL MONDAY: Nekrogoblikon and their Stench

*Metal is a huge part of my music rotation, so every Monday I’ll highlight one of the bands that is currently melting through my eardrums.*

Goblins have always been shit on in fantasy worlds. Usually classed as no more than vermin, they get kicked to the wayside as their orc and troll cousins go on to become world famous metal bands. Well Nekrogoblikon is a group of those goblins who snuck into a bands jam space, slit their throats, stole their instruments and then burned the place down. Now they roam the land raping and pillage with a doubled edged assault of skull crushing brutality and eye watering stench.

Nekrogoblikon pull all the stops in order to forcefully eliminate mankind. Galloping drums and riffage, well used synths and choruses more infectious than the black plague. With the switch firmly in the “fuck shit up” position, these goblins tear through songs, and your flesh, at a breakneck speed. One thing that separates them from other creature-based bands is the liberal usage of synths. From extra drum triggers to a full on dance beat at one point, it’s always surprising but never unpleasantly so.

The other thing is that these songs are damn catchy, “No One Survives” and “Prince of the Land of Stench”  (Which opens with a sample from Labyrinth. Yes the movie Bowie was in.) being the prime examples. As your nodding your head and singing alone you’ll come to the horrible realization that your singing about the gore and feces filled destruction of the human race. They don’t just want you dead, they want you ground up, eaten, shit out, lit on fire and then snorted like cheap cocaine. Goblins are evil bastards after all.

Nekrogoblikon currently have two full lengths out, “Goblin Island” and “Stench”. Both are up on Bandcamp and iTunes. Pick one up and help fund the end of mankind.

Nekrogoblikon Facebook

Nekrogoblikon Bandcamp

And the lyric video for “Prince of the Land of Stench”: