Archive for the News and Information Category

Led Fellatio

Posted in News and Information with tags , , , on February 27, 2018 by Ben


I’ve made it quite a few years on this blog without posting up a diatribe but goddammit, my jimmies are rustled and the hounds are out for blood. PUCKER UP SHITHEADS.

This whole spew was kicked off earlier tonight when one of the DJ’s on the local rock station told me that Elton John had commissioned the band Greta Van Fleet to play at his Oscars after party, going to on to say that the band was “..the best rock and roll I’ve heard in twenty fucking years!”. I know that I shouldn’t be getting riled up by what a fucking geriatric peacock has to say but this colourful feather was the one that broke my back.

I have been listening to every goddamn rock radio station around giving slobbery praise to Greta for months on end. A day doesn’t go by that some fucking DJ doesn’t jerk them off, praising the “saviours of rock” or some other trite horseshit. (At this point I should probably digress and mention that Greta may be catching a periphery of the hate I have for modern rock radio but fuck, if it was rational, it wouldn’t be rant) So hearing about mister Crocodile Rock going off with the “best rock in twenty years” spiel really didn’t do good things to my psyche.

Greta Van Fleet piss me off for the simple reason that they sound like Led Zeppelin. Not sound like as in remind, sound like as in the first time I heard them on the radio I legit thought it was a recently discovered Zeppelin b-side. They are a blatant fucking ape of Zeppelin, the vocals, tones, riffs, everything. Which would be fine, if that single fact alone wasn’t what propelled them to mainstream adoration and fame. These guys hit the big time because they sound like Zeppelin. That’s fucking all. Thousands of better bands have been giving their time, dedication and energy to the genre and get blown out of the water by a glorified cover band that appeal to the base instincts of the pop culture hive mind and those fucking boomers.

I’m not trying to say that all bands need to progress the genre, hell I love me some throwback rock just as much as the next heathen. The vast majority of throwback bands get to pick and choose their favourite tidbits from rock history and smash them together into a new but familiar medley. A good throwback band sounds like a time period, not like a stadium cover. Take an easy example like The Sheepdogs, a fine band, solid, derivative throwbacks that can’t be staked down to a single point of origin like Greta can.

Led Zeppelin are a legendary band with massive influence. Key word, fucking influence. Take their shit and learn from it. Bonham’s dead. Move on.


AW FUCK YEAH: Barn Burner @ Pouzza 8

Posted in Awesome Things, News and Information with tags , on February 22, 2018 by Ben


It’s been 5 long years since the perennial Church favourites, Barn Burner, called it quits, but now, in the long tradition of glory boy reunion shows, you can catch them live once more at Pouzza Fest 8, May 18 to 20th, Montreal QC.

Along with plenty of other bands listed below.

Fuck yeah.

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Late News: Trap Them Final Shows

Posted in News and Information with tags , on October 24, 2017 by Ben

So here’s some late news that just came to my attention; Trap Them will be playing their last 4 shows this November. The tour was posted (In August – I’m slow okay) with little fanfare or explanation but whatever the reason, we will be loosing one of the gnarliest hardcore bands in recent memory.

I had been listening to their blistering crossover of hardcore and grind for a while but it wasn’t until I saw them live last year that their true ferocity became cemented in my mind. The show I saw was part of North American tour they were doing with Yautja, started immediately after the conclusion of the Euro tour they had just been on.

During one of the dates of their Euro tour, their lead singer broke both his feet after jumping off a speaker. Usually that would be enough to cancel a tour, or at least the next planned one. Not for Trap Them, these guys finished the Euro tour with vocals being conducted from a broken office chair. Then they started the fucking NA tour, like 20-something dates with both feet in casts.

When they finally made it to Toronto the vocalist took the stage in kneepads and did the entire set writhing on the ground like a wounded animal. It is still the single gnarliest set I’ve seen and has established my profound respect for this band and vocalist. Everyone jerked off Dave Grohl for playing shows with a broken leg in a custom made throne but they missed the real badass crawling across the stage and sleeping in a van.

If you were lucky enough to get tickets I envy you. If not you can crank back their entire discography on Bandcamp. RIP.

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Assorted Musings and Historical Appreciation

Posted in News and Information, Random Riffage with tags , , , , , , , , on July 10, 2017 by Ben

Lazy piece of shit checking into his derelict blog. Just give me a second to scrape the mold off my computer screen and remove at least one of the boards from the window.

I have been listening to a bunch of new music but I’ve been too lazy/busy/apathetic to write about it. Instead I’m going to list all of the new albums I’ve bought in the last month or so and summarize them in three words or less.

Dangers – “The Bend in the Break” = Catharsis Rage Vomit.

Dangers – “Messy, Isn’t it?” = See #1.


Mutoid Man – “War Moans” = 80’S POWER CRUNCH.

Seven Sisters of Sleep – “Ezekiel’s Hags” = Deadlift Doom.

High On Fire – “The Art of Self Defense” = LEGENDARY.

Clowns – “Lucid Again” = Too much fun.

You can find all of those albums on Bandcamp so check ’em out if you want.

Saw Cavern at the Bovine on Saturday night. It was a nice treat to see a smaller band that I had written about getting up to the great northern yonder to play a show. They fucking killed it and you should go check out their most recent album for more heavy jams.

I also saw Baby Driver over the weekend which was quite entertaining as long as you didn’t think too hard about it. It’s a very unique interpretation of a movie musical and the only reason I wanted to mention it here is because one of the main action sequences is set to “Hocus Pocus” by Focus. The rest of the soundtrack was just as stellar.

Lastly! You know how when you’re little and all the “adult” things like coffee and beer taste like absolute horseshit to your virgin tongue? Well I’ve found my ears have kind of done the same thing as I’ve gotten older. Several years ago I didn’t enjoy or respect some of the older metal luminaries, like High On Fire but now I can’t get enough.

Like goddammit, these fucking riffs. WHAT THE FUCK WAS WRONG WITH ME!?

So I apologize and will now headbang my way through ten Hail Mary’s.



Happy Fucking New Year

Posted in News and Information on January 2, 2017 by Ben

Happy Fucking (late) New Year.

Maybe this next year will see me getting some more content up.

Maybe this next year will see me finally putting that antique bomb shelter to good use.

Who knows!?

So with this late announcement, have some super duper dope ass stoner rock from 2015, discovered thanks to my friend Beau. They have a new album coming out on March 17th if you are so inclined.

Also check out the Youtube channel Beau found this on – Stoned Meadow of Doom – they know whats up.

So it goes

Posted in News and Information on September 1, 2016 by Ben

Get up.

Hit snooze.

Get up again.

Hit snooze again.

Get up.


Start the car. Drive the car. Park the car.

Buy the coffee. Drink the coffee. Piss the coffee out.

Punch in. Punch out. Punch in. Punch out.

Start the car. Drive the car. Park the car.

Eat or Sleep or Internet or Wrench.


Get up.


Starting this blog in 2nd year university, I thought I’d never have a reason to stop writing. Reality is a bitch and so is working for a living.

Things are a little more calm now. Maybe something will get produced?

Don’t hold your breath.

……oh, hi there

Posted in News and Information on July 27, 2014 by Ben



For starters, I’m not sorry for avoiding posting for the last three months or so. The following is an explanation of why.

I live in a rural area of Southern Ontario. Our climate is the classic Canadian hodgepodge of almost comfortable summers and intolerably cold winters.

From just about November through to April, the outside world becomes a rather nasty place. Howling maelstroms of snow and deep-set frosts that nip at your heels like a pack of starving wolves, it is not a hospitable time to spend outside. (Yeah I’m fucking exaggerating. It’s still damn cold.)

Come late April, a rather wonderful thing happens; the frigid temperature snaps like brittle bone and the snow begins to melt away to reveal all sorts of wonderful colours. Well, mostly brown, grey and green-tinged yellow as the continental amount of road salt and sand starts to get washed away into our soil, creeks and lakes. But I digress.

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