Dick Move Bro!

I’ve had this one stewing away in my favorites for quite a while now, before I actually got around to sitting down and listening to the entire thing.

Holy fuck.

It’s as if someone put me in front of a fire hose spraying dirty needles, broken glass and used condoms at speed fast enough to flay flesh. This is grindpunk, brutally fast, destructive and crude.

The band in question is DICK MOVE and the album is “OH SHIT!”. Seriously, even the titles are less than 5 letters and all caps. If grindcore is a horde of torturous demons screaming in your ear at ten thousand bpm, then DICK MOVE is that wasted asshole shouting at you from across the bar, covering you with half-chewed food and spittle.

“OH SHIT!” goes hard, with the tracks averaging about a minute each, it’s fast, really fucking fast. Rapid-fire drumming is accompanied by chainsawing riffs and a what sounds like an angry hobo fighting with a dog on vocals. It’s ugly and nasty, picking fights before even entering the room.

Once you’ve clicked play on the first track, “I Drank Your Beers”, be prepared to spend a couple hours collecting various bits of our face from the walls, ceiling and backyard. Take a moment to get everything taped back into place and get ready for it to happen all over again. A hardcore punk battle charge, that never actually stops charging. It’s that pit bull that won’t let go of your leg until your dead or your legs removed.

If you ever wanted an album to rearrange your house to via moshing, this is a candidate for sure. Something resembling grooves and guitar solos poke through at the odd time, allowing for some chugging gang vocals and wall punching choruses. Mainly you’ll spend your time whirling in circles, screaming obscenities and picking fights with strangers.

“OH SHIT!” is the album your parents, girlfriend, wife, neighbor, dog, doctor, dentist and mailman will hate you for, because you’ll have the entire house rattling every time you spin it. It’s up for a name your price option on Bandcamp and if you play it, play it loud.

Real. fucking. loud.

DICK MOVE Bandcamp

DICK MOVE Facebook


One Response to “Dick Move Bro!”

  1. […] album. And if the thought of that makes you yawn, you can go back to Church of the Riff and read the new review of Oh Shit! by a band called . . . (wait for it) . . . Dick Move. Here’s the rest of Ham […]

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