One Man Army: Hellripper – “Complete and Total Fucking Mayhem”

So a week or two ago I finally went through of all the messages that had piled up and started rotting in my blog email. Most were generic promos that got deleted but plenty got saved for future reference, like this rotten number, “Complete and Total Fucking Mayhem” from Hellripper.

A one-man-band from Scotland, Hellripper is classically styled mix of black and speed metal, with lo-fi demon vocals and plenty of flaming fretboards to flesh out these vicious anthems. I don’t know the classics of this style or even many of the contemporaries but if you stabbed at Toxic Holocaust you would be puncturing the right organ.

12 tracks of fast ‘n’ catchy mayhem with plenty of badass solo work that will leave a big stoopid grin on your face. Check it out below.

Poltergeists of the riff: Red Fang – “Only Ghosts”

Nothing like a day of blowin’ sideways ice pellets and half-assed snow to make cozying up to the computer a more attractive prospect…

“Only Ghosts” is the fourth studio album from Portland-based riffasauruses, Red Fang. 2011’s “Murder the Mountains” has been one of my favourite albums since its release but I was left feeling lukewarm after “Whales and Leeches”, a feeling that has carried over into their newest 10-track romp.

I don’t know what specifically has put me off but I don’t get the same shivers and jives from most of the tracks. It could be the songwriting, it could be the mix but in all probability its just me. For me, it’s not a strong release, for other people it might be their best release to date. Objective reviews don’t exist.

Don’t get me wrong though, I didn’t finish the album without a couple goody bags to come back to. “Cut it Short” is a great skronky little number and “Not for You” was stuck in my head for a goddamn week. There’s plenty of good moments to be found but never enough that snapped my neck back. It’s an album I’d drink to but not sit in traffic with.

Take a listen at the player down below and see what you think. You can catch them on tour with Torche and Whores from November into December (If you’re a lucky American).

Vomit Fetish

I’ll having something to say about the new Red Fang release, “Only Ghosts”, later in the week but until then here’s one of my all-time favourites from 2011’s “Murder the Mountains”.

I always loved this album but had passed this song by, giving the other earworms like “Hank is Dead” or “Wires” most of my attention. It wasn’t until I had sat with this album for almost 3 years before this track really jived with me but once it did it went deep.

Trollops, Harlots and WHORES – “Baby Teeth”

I was sitting here with a spare hour to kill and decided to trawl the digital sewers to see if I could find anything worth writing about.

New Whores track? Yeah, that’ll do.

WHORES are an Atlanta-based noise rock trio that have been one of the fucking best bands in heavy music over the last couple years. Both “Ruiner” in 2011 and “Clean” in 2013 have been in constant rotation through my ears. Waiting three years for the next album has been a long haul, the only consolation being a Toronto show they played last winter.

I can’t really give them shit (other than more Canadian dates) as these motherfuckers have been touring close to non-stop for the last three years, stripping back the fat and greasing up their claws to pop out their newest album, “Gold”, slated for release on October 28th.

“Baby Teeth” is the first track getting shown to the world and goddamn, it doesn’t disappoint. I could sit here thinking of several different ways to describe this track and drown you in too many adjectives, or you can skip my rabble, scroll down and hit fuckin’ play bud.

Billy Joel said it best, “… you can’t get the sound from a story in a magazine …”

Double Fucked Feature – LOVGUN and Naileater

Dug through some of the more recent emails in my neglected blog email (seriously, it smells like a bag of vomit locked in a hot car over the weekend) and pulled out a literally quick double feature.

LOVGUN – VISAGES MASQUÉS

French grindcore that occasionally interrupts the regular onslaught with some sped-up punk riffs. The combination is kickass and balances out your accelerating circle pit with a groove you can get your knuckles around, all in under 60 seconds.

Fast punk? Slow powerviolence? Who the fuck cares. GET PISSED. PUNCH THE WALL. REALISE THAT HURT. DO IT AGAIN.

Naileater – Chains

Real fuckin’ nasty hardcore punk from Austria. Vocalist really sounds like Lemmy through some parts, others he sounds like a chain smoking gorilla. Four songs, all done in under 10 minutes. I wasn’t kidding about the quick double feature.

The brevity actually makes me love these songs a lot more. I can easily imagine a band dragging out a real similar sound over 6 minutes a song – which can be great but can also be aurally exhausting. Two minutes thirty? Fuck yeah, my neck won’t even get sore. (I’m kidding, my neck is old and I will complain)

But really, Naileater is some damn good shit, just fuckin’ full-speed-freight-train-heavy-good-time. Also there’s a song called “Bonesaw”.

BOOOOOOOOOOONESAWWWWW

For those of you that might notice – both of these bands have their albums up for a name-your-price option. Don’t be tightwad and put a number other than 0 in that field.

Occular Orgy – High On Fire and Red Fang

More videos! Cuz I’m lazy and haven’t bothered to type down anything for the small foothill of albums I’ve got bookmarked. Still, these videos deserve a mention while they’re still fresh…

Red Fang – Shadows

The burlmeisters in Red Fang have a new album coming on October 14th entitled “Only Ghosts“. They have released a video for a track called “Shadows” directed by their longtime compatriot – Whitey McConnaughy.

The video is fairly solid – a tribute to the thermal-vision alien of your dreams – but the real standout is the new track. I didn’t love the last album but “Shadows” brings some new twists to the table and I can’t wait to hear the rest.

High On Fire – The Black Plot

High on Fire are legends. This music video is legendary.

A He-Man D&D skullfuck marathon with a bad acid trip and quiet weekend spent huffing some paint – If you liked the movie Heavy Metal you’ll love this.

Dead Quiet – Foul Words

Found this video floating around today and it reminded me of the first post I made on this venture – Sometime in 2012 – about one of my favourite bands at the time, Barn Burner. A band that got me to develop nipple-length greasy locks and a craving for cheap beer swilled from cans.

Barn Burner dissolved a couple of years ago, playing their last Toronto show at the Bovine and giving me a reason to get real piss wasted. Later on I found one of the founding members moved out west and started a new band, Dead Quiet.

Blood ‘n’ thunder riffs, mountainous melodies and rippin’ breakdowns – get the album and watch the video down below.

Dead Quiet Bandcamp

Hat tip to the track “Remaining Remains”. A strong eulogy for one of the most badass frontman to have graced this rock.

So it goes

Get up.

Hit snooze.

Get up again.

Hit snooze again.

Get up.

gaaaaaaahhh

Start the car. Drive the car. Park the car.

Buy the coffee. Drink the coffee. Piss the coffee out.

Punch in. Punch out. Punch in. Punch out.

Start the car. Drive the car. Park the car.

Eat or Sleep or Internet or Wrench.

Sleep.

Get up.

 

Starting this blog in 2nd year university, I thought I’d never have a reason to stop writing. Reality is a bitch and so is working for a living.

Things are a little more calm now. Maybe something will get produced?

Don’t hold your breath.

……oh, hi there

…………

*ahem*

For starters, I’m not sorry for avoiding posting for the last three months or so. The following is an explanation of why.

I live in a rural area of Southern Ontario. Our climate is the classic Canadian hodgepodge of almost comfortable summers and intolerably cold winters.

From just about November through to April, the outside world becomes a rather nasty place. Howling maelstroms of snow and deep-set frosts that nip at your heels like a pack of starving wolves, it is not a hospitable time to spend outside. (Yeah I’m fucking exaggerating. It’s still damn cold.)

Come late April, a rather wonderful thing happens; the frigid temperature snaps like brittle bone and the snow begins to melt away to reveal all sorts of wonderful colours. Well, mostly brown, grey and green-tinged yellow as the continental amount of road salt and sand starts to get washed away into our soil, creeks and lakes. But I digress.

Continue reading ……oh, hi there